Inherited anxiety

It seems to me, of late, that all my friends are worrying about things. Generally small inconsequential things that you would usually ignore. I wondered why this was. I have no answer, but I went on to think about anxiety. I have read around the subject in the past due to a paper I wrote for my nursing degree, although it was more to do with provision of treatment than the mechanisms of its action. Most people will probably know it is a lingering protection trait, inherited from our ancestors, in which the body prepares itself for 'fight or flight' as it is often termed.

In the days of our ancestors I imagine, although I am no expert, that this anxiety caused by imminent threat would waver after the fight was won or escape had been made. This would result in that wonderful feeling of relief (associated with neurotransmitters in the brain) and the anxiety would pass. However, the threats we face today do not present in the form of a grizzly bear, or a sabre toothed tiger. They are ongoing threats which are bound to relationships, finances and work for example. So this anxiety does not find closure. It carries on, causing mental and somatic symptoms than can make a life misery, and lead onto illness and depression.

So what to do ? there is conventional medicine. Administering medications which increase or inhibit the chemicals in the brain which affect our mood. Good in the short term maybe, to reduce the chances of a crisis of some sort, but what about long term. I think this is a need for a change in your outlook on life. As human beings, blessed with intelligence and the ability of abstract thought, we are also able to project what may be going to happen in the future. By doing this you are creating an illusion of possible outcomes. Think about the moment you are in, are you able to cope with it. I would imagine that the answer is yes because, in simplistic terms, you are there and then and your actions are having a direct affect on your situation. Try to do this with the future, you can't, and that is probably one of the major problems we face as human beings, 'What if this/or that happens/does not happen?' These thoughts are a waste of time, energy and the cause of your anxiety. You can not affect the outcome of a future illusion. This of course also equates to the past in a slightly different sense. That being the past is also an illusion of something that has happened. You are equally as helpless in coping with that situation as well, as it no longer exists.

This cycle of future - anxiety - past - anxiety is tremendously detrimental to your state of mind. I now bring up a dreaded and overused word, and please do not stop reading when you see it - 'meditation'. Do not fear ! This word translates into lots of manifestations. I will only go into the very simplistic method of it that I use. It is what I call moment meditation. I believe famous and accomplished lifestyle Guru's also brush upon this method, but this came to me by chance, through my own pattern of thought. The primary function of moment meditation is to focus on what is happening at that moment, so your mind can not dwell upon the illusions, created in your brain, of the past and future. I began by looking around at my environment, preferably at a quiet time. During this time you are actually meditating, yes, that dreaded word amounts to nothing more than focused thinking. Look at a picture, a table, the carpet, the grit on the path in the park. Anything to bring your mind back to the moment you are in. Initially you will not be able to do this for very long. You will drift off into daydream and start humouring your illusions again. Then you will realise what has occurred and come back to now, or the present if you prefer.

Practice this simple form of meditation whenever you have a free moment. Its intention is to ground you in the moment. When you are managing the moment you are managing reality, your life, not the illusions I brought up earlier. With practice you will find that you can indulge yourself in these moments of present restfulness for longer and longer. I have now achieved a point where I can almost put myself into standby just like a television etc. I remain fully aware of my environment however, and I am far more tuned in for action than if I was worrying about a future event. You could hardly call this enlightened. It took Buddha years to achieve that, and by dedicating almost all of his time to do so. We do not have time. However we do have time to give our poor overworked brains a well earned rest purely by being in the moment. Of course we have happy memories from the past which we do not want to lose, and we need to plan our future to a degree in order to function in society, but these actions are not manifestations of anxiety, they are productive. Think of your mind as a tool, use it when you need to. When you have finished using it, lay it down for a while, like you would a hammer or a saw, you do not need to use them constantly. I am an amateur at meditation, I have no religion (but defend your right to have yours) and I not the most spiritual of people. I have simply stumbled upon a technique that I can use occasionally, to come back to reality and cope with my life in the absence of unnecessary anxiety. I hope some of this has made sense, as I mentioned, I am not a master or spiritual guru by any stretch of the imagination, but if what I have shared helps just one person to feel happier in themselves, that will make me happier too. Having looked further into this method, which I naively thought was unique to myself, I discovered that a chap called Eckhart Tolle teaches a similar method, in far more depth, and he could be called a spiritual guru. So if you wanted to take this idea further, I suggest you begin with his book 'the power of now', which is readily available even in audio format. Take care of yourself and ignore the illusions, and most of all stay grounded in the present.

Andy Phillips.

New times, old loves.

I seem to be drifting into the art world more now that my name is becoming known a little more. Of course I welcome this with open arms. However the biggest change in my life recently is to have entered into a relationship with a lady who I have admired for a very long time. She is my childhood friends sister, and I have know her since she was twelve, and I fifteen. At that time she was just an annoyance to my friend and I, wanting to join in with the things she could not.

The problem was the Atlantic ocean. She in New York, and myself back here in the UK. Long distance relationships are brittle at best, and the caveat for making them work has yet to be compiled, or so I believe. Imagine my delight when the light of my life decided she was going to try living in England for a while. To be with me, and also to be with her mother who is English. I was stunned and overjoyed.

So now I am busy working and trying to spend as much time with my beloved as possible. She is in the fortunate position of being self employed and can afford to take time out for a while. I suppose my point is an old one, and somewhat cliched, but you really cannot tell what is coming with the new day.

Long time gone..........

It's been a long time since I posted here. I'm not the best blogger in the world. I've been importing contemporary works by New York artists, which is going down well. These can be previewed at my website www.andypips.com. Why not take a look, if I've brought something over it will be on there under 'imports'.

www.andypips.com
https://twitter.com/#!/AndyPipsArt

Steampunk trash...............

I'm going to New York again in a few days, without doubt the coolest place I have ever been - so far :) Anyway, my point was that before a trip, or something similar, I get this creative rush. It can be in anything. The thing this time has been an 18" sculpture of some kind of steampunk battledroid. All made out of trash (thanks to my Dad and his amazing collection of electrical and mechanical components). Given a decent paint job, looking a little battle worn, and with a few selected LED's for effect it isn't half bad. When its complete I will put it up on my site in the physical source gallery. Please let me know what you think.

I'm now thinking that maybe I should schedule some time before I go away anywhere in the hope that these creative spells happen consistantly, and not just as a few recent flukes. 

Falling apart

I'm a qualified nurse as well as being an artist. Although my art funds me to an extent I still work as a nurse, until the time comes that I no longer have to. I enjoy intensive care nursing. It's a dynamic and rewarding occupation. It can also, as you may expect, be a very sad and emotionally draining experience. I work with some very dedicated people who go well out of their way to ensure patient safety, and support for relatives. This is however one of the problems. Due to the type of people the medical professions attract, it is easy for the government to manipulate them.

Doctors, nurses and many other individuals in the multi speciality team provide a lot of tasks out of good will. Staying late after work, taking on extended roles and working under great stress is not unusual for them. While all this care is going on, the government are busy devising ways in which they can make cut backs, and prey upon the good will that the clinicians provide. Producing figures to impress the public is what the government is good at. This of course is all deceit. The public who are told this  'rubbish'  by the government are the very people who are going to suffer in a health care system which is slowly dying.

If the health care personnel, which I am part of, withdrew the good will on which the NHS depends it would fall apart overnight. In the meantime the workload increases, resources become less, staff become fatigued and demotivated and most of all patient safety is put at risk. Of course the government counter this by producing more and more paperwork which dissociates them from any blame. This paperwork isn't filled in by them of course, it is filled in by the medical team  (Dr's, nurses et al) who could be dedicating time to patient care.

All of this means that priorities have to be devised, as they always have been. However in the current climate it means that good basic care such as hygiene needs, psychological support, relatives updates etc are simply not able to be met. This is NOT because the nursing and medical personnel don't want to do it, it is because they can't. I am sure that if you asked most nurses if they feel any guilt, after working a shift, due to basic care needs that have not been  met, it will be approaching 100%.

I plan to leave nursing soon. I am fortunate enough to have an alternative source of income which is gradually increasing. Many of my friends and colleagues however will stay, some because they want to but most because they have to. They are a dedicated body of people who do a job which is like no other. Saving lives daily as a matter of course under great pressure. Due to this I ask only one thing. When you see a Dr, Nurse or other related health professional, think about the good will they bring to their job to look after your loved ones. They entered their respective careers because they put people first, not money or paperwork. Don't have a go at a nurse because you have had to wait longer than you expected, write a letter or email to your MP, because they are the ones responsible for your valuable and unique health service deteriorating.

Decisions

Due to some recent progressions in my art career, I decided to start my blog again. Experiences in New York have changed my world, and my finances, and I hope to soon give up my primary career as that of a nurse, which I can genuinely say I shall miss, especially the wonderful friends I have made. My website continues although needs updating, I would appreciate your time if you can afford a look. Thank you very much :D

www.andypips.com